Eating with Hands, Living with Heart
How My Mum’s Prawn Curry Sparked a Deeper Reflection
Nahid de Belgeonne, “the nervous system whisperer” is an Author and somatic movement educator. She specialises in helping clients through burnout, anxiety, and trauma-related issues with The Soothe Programme.
How are you doing this week? I am in my sleep pod* getting myself ready for a day of teaching tomorrow. I love teaching in person, it’s so good to connect for a whole day, it means that we can go deeper.
I teach a different theme on every retreat, although principles of soothing are taught every time. This month I am exploring how we can let our emotions pass through us. The next day retreat is on 17th May, the early bird price ends on 31st January - you can nab your spot here!
I’m also offering online one-to-ones - I usually only offer sessions as a part of a programme or a 8 pack but as a few people have asked to trial one session before they commit. The price is £250 + VAT - drop me an email if you want to book.
It’s a windowless hotel room in Holborn, this midlife woman’s dream! In bed at 9.30pm with a book.
My friend’s mother died recently, and it got me thinking about my own mum. I decided to film her. My mum loves to cook and share recipes, so I asked her how she makes her prawn curry. She was eating with her hands, as she usually does, while I recorded her.
Afterward, I uploaded the video to my stories and didn’t think much of it. Later that day, a friend—of Indian descent but raised in Canada—messaged me. She told me how wonderful it was to see my mum eating with her hands. It struck a chord because, for us, it’s such an ordinary thing, yet it’s something rarely seen or talked about.
She reflected on how much of ourselves we keep hidden away. That simple act of eating with your hands, something so connected and grounded, carries a quiet power. It got me thinking about the way we live: how much we pretend.
We pretend we’re winning. We pretend we’re not sad or anxious or deeply worried about the state of the world. We present a polished surface, as though everything is always A-okay. But what if we didn’t?
Eating with your hands is a deeply connected experience. You feel your food, shape it into manageable bites, and are fully present in the act. It’s not mindless eating—it’s deliberate and absorbed. There’s less washing up, no need for the production of cutlery, and yet it’s an act often looked down upon.
Growing up, I remember kids at school using it as an insult: “Yeah, but you eat with your hands.” I didn’t, because I bit my nails, and the heat of the spices would get under my skin and sting. But I was always envious of those who did. There’s something so natural about it, so immediate and yet it’s dismissed as primitive.
What if, instead of absorbing that shame, we embraced it? What if we said, “Yes, I eat with my hands. You should try it.”
And what if, instead of treating our emotions as personal failures, we said, “I’m full of grief—I can’t bear the violence in the world,” or “I’m not okay today, but I’m quietly working through it.”
I’ve found that when I share my feelings openly, it regulates me and invites others to be more open, too. I haven’t lost good friends. Thoughtful people still want to be around me, they think I am fun to hang out with and that I also feel the world. I attract clients because I have been through the same things and also am still in process. What I have done is to build into my life regulatory strategies that allow me to find my resilience. it’s an ongoing conversation.
Maybe being vulnerable helps others feel less alone?
Reflecting on this, I see why the work I do resonates so deeply. It asks us to open up—not just through our minds but through all our senses. It invites us to collaborate with ourselves, not battle against parts of who we are.
Collaboration welcomes all of you. I can’t help but feel it’s what we need now more than ever.
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Stay human,
Nahid x
Photo by Tyson on Unsplash
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