Does Relentless Self-Optimisation Turns Us Into Neurotic Perfectionists?

I'm just asking...

I’m Nahid, “the nervous system whisperer” an Author and somatic movement educator. I’ve been teaching for twenty years and help clients move out of burnout, anxiety, stress and trauma-related issues with The Soothe Programme

Buy Soothe UK out now in paperback / Soothe US

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Hello, hope you are well. I’ve been thinking…the reason that you can’t sustain harmony in your life isn’t because there is anything wrong with you.

We aren’t burnt out, exhausted, comfort eating, depressed, anxious and poor sleepers because we work too much, it’s because we live in a world where horrific and unjust things are happening and we pretend that they aren’t.

Our only answer is more doing. More yoga, breathwork, running, meditation, more heavy lifting, more protein, more consuming, more holidays, just more and more.

I don’t think relentless self-optimisation is good for us. It turns us into neurotic perfectionists, never truly connected to how we live, what we pay attention to and how we impact others and the planet.

Staying silent and not engaging with things that are happening to human beings around the world may feel like it’s the path to good mental health, but inhibiting your humanity will ultimately rob you of your soul.

There’s a difference between being present and being hypervigilant about your own performance. When we’re constantly analysing ourselves, we miss the actual texture of living - the taste of morning coffee, how light falls through a window, the rhythm of real conversation.

The courage to show up fully, to risk being imperfect, to let ourselves be moved and outraged by man-made suffering and injustice - that’s what keeps us human in the deepest sense.

Here’s a beautiful poem “Think of Others” by Mahmoud Darwish (1941-2008) he was an award-winning Palestinian author and poet.

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As you prepare your breakfast, think of others
(do not forget the pigeon’s food).
As you conduct your wars, think of others
(do not forget those who seek peace).
As you pay your water bill, think of others
(those who are nursed by clouds).
As you return home, to your home, think of others
(do not forget the people of the camps).
As you sleep and count the stars, think of others
(those who have nowhere to sleep).
As you liberate yourself in metaphor, think of others
(those who have lost the right to speak).
As you think of others far away, think of yourself
(say: “If only I were a candle in the dark”).

For paid subscribers, I’ve uploaded a somatic deep rest lesson, it will calm your brain and restore you for whatever you need to do. I use it at night to get to sleep.

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HOLD STEADY - Somatic Lessons For Challenging Times

NEW LIVE 8-week course starts on 10th June. Last I wrote about how to HOLD STEADY which elicited many questions and comments, which prompted the next LIVE course will be: HOLD STEADY - Somatic Lessons For Challenging Times - the breath and deep rest practices that are keeping me steady when times are HARD.

Can’t make all the dates? No problem, the recordings will be available online with access for 6 months. Book here.

Rewire Your Brain & Brunch: Cultivate a Resilient Nervous System at The Elder Press Cafe by the river in Chiswick. it’s one of my favourite cafes. It’s on the 12th June at 10.30 am - 12 pm. A light brunch, a talk and discussion, practical strategies that you can implement right away, you’ll also receive a signed copy of my book, Soothe, the book your nervous system has been longing for. Tickets are £27 I’d love to see you there - click here to book.

The Soothe Weekend Retreat on 10th - 12th October at The Quaives, a lovely retreat space in Kent, 51 minutes from St Pancras. I’ve already sold the cottages and the rooms in the main house. Rooms still available:

• Dorm: 3 beds in the scandi-style dorm @ £650 pp

3 minutes drive up the road staying at The Tor Spa

• 3 x ensuite rooms 5 minutes car drive away @ £1150 pp

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Enjoy the somatic deep rest lesson.

I’m teaching on retreat in Greece next week, being in community and guiding them into deep restful state is medicine for my system.

Stay human,

Nahid x