Cognitive Dissonance: The Secret to a Peaceful Life
Why understanding cognitive dissonance can help you to cultivate a compassionate relationship with yourself.
Why do we suffer? It’s a good question. After teaching hundreds and hundreds of clients over the last eighteen years, I see first hand that most people suffer because they have an internal struggle between their mind and body. It’s thinking one thing but deeply knowing something else entirely. Have you ever been let down by someone? Their words are trying to convince you they are true but there is something about their body language that makes you disbelieve them. That’s cognitive dissonance.
It is the mental state that occurs when we hold two conflicting beliefs or ideas. It can be caused by a variety of factors, such as new information that contradicts our existing beliefs, or when we are forced to act in a way that goes against our values. When we experience cognitive dissonance, it can cause us to feel uncomfortable, anxious, or even stressed. Knowing there are people in the world who have no food but having plenty ourselves can puncture our contentment. Or it can be discovering that the lifestyle you enjoy comes at a great cost to someone else.
There are a few different ways that you can try to resolve cognitive dissonance. One way is to simply change one of your beliefs or ideas. This can be difficult, especially if you have held the belief for a long time or if it is something that is important to you. Another way to resolve cognitive dissonance is to try to rationalise your beliefs or ideas so that they no longer conflict with each other. This can involve coming up with explanations for why the two beliefs or ideas are actually compatible, or finding ways to minimise the importance of the conflict.
Cognitive dissonance can have a significant impact on our behaviour. When you are experiencing cognitive dissonance, you are more likely to avoid information that contradicts your belief, and you are also more likely to engage in behaviours that support your beliefs. For example, if someone believes that drinking is bad for their health, but they continue to drink, they may experience cognitive dissonance. This dissonance may lead them to avoid information about the dangers of drinking, or to rationalise their behaviour by telling themselves that they only drink a few glasses a wine a day and it does them no harm even though they suffer from self loathing the next day.
How Cognitive Dissonance Relates to Nervous System Regulation
When you are experiencing cognitive dissonance, it can have a negative impact on your nervous system. The uncertainty and anxiety that you feel can cause your body to release stress hormones, such as cortisol. This can lead to physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach aches, and muscle tension.
Cognitive dissonance can also make it difficult for you to regulate our emotions. When you are feeling stressed and anxious, it can be difficult to think clearly and make good decisions. This can lead to impulsive behaviour and conflict in your relationships.
Is there a positive side to cognitive dissonance? It can be viewed as a sign that your brain is open to new information and that you are willing to learn and grow. Cognitive dissonance can also motivate you to change your behaviour and to make better choices.
How to Use Cognitive Dissonance to Your Advantage
If you are experiencing cognitive dissonance, there are a few things that you can do to use it to your advantage. First, try to identify the source of the dissonance. What are the two conflicting beliefs or ideas that you are holding? Once you have identified the source of the dissonance, you can start to think about how to resolve it.
If you are able to change one of your beliefs or ideas, this is the ideal solution. However, if this is not possible, you can try to rationalise your beliefs or ideas so that they no longer conflict with each other. You could learn to live with it, but in my experience of working with so many clients over the years, it will harm you in some way over time.
Somatic movement is a powerful approach to resolve this struggle in your system. By becoming more curious about how you hold the cognitive dissonance in your physical body and exploring different patterns, you are able to change your idea of who you are. Let me give you an example of how you can change your self-image . I have a few clients in their seventies who had limited mobility because of an injury. Living with the injury led them to believe that they had to be careful and so they stop trying new things and taking risks, even when the injury had healed. The idea of them having to be “careful” feeds into their movements which become smaller and more contained. Once we explore ideas of the range of movements they can do and improve their mobility, it increases their confidence and they no longer feel that they are on the inevitable slide of getting older.
It takes time to change our beliefs and behaviours. The key is to learn how to deal with it in a healthy way.
Here are a few tips for using cognitive dissonance to your advantage:
Be open to new information. Don't be afraid to challenge your existing beliefs, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable.
Be willing to change
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Chronic Anxiety or Stress? The next Soothe Group Programme starts on Sunday 7th January at 7.30pm and runs for eight weeks. This is for you if you are suffering with chronic anxiety or stress. I’ll hold a live Q&A on Tuesday 14th at 7pm so that you can find out more about it. Email me for the link.
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Thank you for reading. Stay human,
Nahid x